The title seems like an oxymoron right? In some ways it is, but in some ways it isn’t.
See for the first time in my own life, I feel like I have been able to completely go through the stages of grief. Which is kinda crazy to think about as I’ve had a decent amount of heartbreak in my life. But nevertheless, the joy I’ve been able to experience ever since going through the stages of grief has been unlike anything I’ve ever felt.
One of the revelations that has come out of this experience has been that I really haven’t let my emotions express themselves in a healthy way before this. I’ve always avoided the fury of those emotions via coping mechanisms like laziness, business, and video games. But this time was different. This is the first time that I’ve actually let my emotions fully show up, not relying on the coping mechanisms, but being present with the overwhelming emotions within me.
What brought me to this point was a relationship I was just in. It was really enjoyable and probably the most fun I’ve had with someone of the opposite sex while dating. Then they broke up with me. I felt like I was in a whirlwind of emotion for the next week and a half. During that time I started the process of going through the stages of grief in it’s entirety. Though I might not of liked the catalyst that got me going through those stages, this experience has really shown me the healing that grief brings and the necessity of allowing it to run its course.
I don’t claim to be emotionally whole, but I’m on the journey there and this is just another step toward wholeness. Through this process I have learned a lot about the importance of facing my emotions head on. Because once I start to run from them or suppress them, I allow my heart to suppress ourselves and our ability to become whole. This is especially true when it comes to grief. Now I don’t mean that we have to stay in a continuous state of grief, because that is unhealthy, but we need to let grief have it’s time and place in our lives and in our hearts.
The moment that we run from grief, we take away the opportunity for true joy to have it’s place in our lives. So I want to challenge you, the reader, to be present with your emotions and grief when they show up. Don’t run from them, embrace them; let those moments have their time and place in your life and let the healing and joy of grief run it’s course.